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Tags: health, wellness, hearing, listening skills
 Relationships. We have them, we need them and sometimes we just have to live with them. And more often, our varied affiliations with other people are far from being easy. You’ve heard it time and again what they say- relationships are complex. But human as we are, we need to relate with other people.
Relationships give essence to what we are as persons. It is within the context of a relationship where we grow and get to know more of ourselves. Where we not only get, but we also give. Behind the complexity of a relationship, we experience different kinds of feelings and emotions.
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We laugh, we cry, we become happy, we get hurt. These feelings and emotions are byproducts of our involvement with others. They are both positive and negative, and perhaps that’s the beauty of it. Because we feel, and it brings color to our lives. It makes us live. It is to be anticipated that pain and being hurt is part of being in a relationship.
Some people may have had too much of a devastation that they have chosen to evade sharing themselves with others. And so they have shunned relationships from their lives. They chose to live in their own comfortable seclusion. Pain and hurt may elude them but for the price of loneliness.
So a person is left with the choice- live the life of an hermit, or deal with relationships. The second option seems more viable. Life is far more essential to be spent alone thinking only of containing and overprotecting oneself. That in itself is a form of selfishness, not only to others but of the person to himself as well.
It is because one has ceased to share part of himself to others while he has deprived himself of growth. So there is the fact, if we want to live with people, we have to live with relationships. As we do, we also have to strive to make relationships work.
How is that. Within the context of a relationship, we relate to other people. We give and we take- effort, time, sentiments, concern. For all these factors to be rendered and acquired effectively, we have to learn to communicate. And as they say, communication is the lifeblood of any relationship.
To make a relationship successful, communication within it must thrive. How we convey our message as well as our listening skills will determine whether communication is effectual. How can we make most of our listening skills to keep the lifeblood of our relationship flowing? Listening skills is lending our ears where we think we hear what the other party is saying.
Our ears hear the words they say, but do we take time hearing what they don’t say. It is often more than words that a person conveys when they communicate. Along with it is emotions and intentions, and these are where we should focus our so called listening skills. Behind words when our partner says “I’m ok, I’m fine” yet they are unable to look at us straight in the eyes, the message conveyed is actually the contrary.
Or perhaps we expect somebody to jump for joy or laugh when they say “I’m happy”. But when those words are said with a calm, poignant and silent smile, you might realize that the happiness it contains is more profound. Listening skills is more than lending your ears. It’s lending your heart and part of yourself.
Where you have done away with your blocks and prejudices. Where you expose your vulnerability and you open yourself up. You risk getting hurt but you gain a better connection with your partner. And when you have a connection, giving and taking becomes more fluid. Thus you have kept the lifeblood of your bond flowing and your relationship lives.
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About the author
Dr. Rose Windale is a successful Health & Wellness Coach who has been advising and coaching individuals for many years. Rose now decided to share her knowledge through this site, Healthzine.org. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter and learn how to become truly healthy and happy.
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Welcome to my Health & Wellness Blog. Here I will share my knowledge and experience with you. 
